Hunnie's Blog: PRAY for today...just for today.

Hunnie's Blog: PRAY for today...just for today.: Look at this new modern family, imagine them being your kids and grandkids. Imagine getting that call that your son & daughter-in-law (who...

My Riding Buddy

IF I ever were to take a ride on any moving vehicle that didn't have doors or a shield over my head for safety, I'd still choose to ride down the road with this dude. We've grown, through MUCH adversity to feel like quite a comfortable couple. In other words we LIKE being around each other. Not are we just "IN LOVE" with each other, I think that's obvious or we're just stupid and that's the FIRST thing we fall into is LOVE. But this true LIKE my Buddy thing is the real work in our relationship.

We've had to, over the past 20 months really get to know each other and who we REALLY are. Lo and behold to my disillusionment WE are not PERFECT!! WHAT!! I surely thought I WAS! I thought I had it all going on! My "religious leadership" background, my chronological age of maturity, having been married 2X before!!  I thought I knew what was what!! But it's not been until I started mixing my Kool-Aid in this old guy's Kool-Aid pitcher did I know how truly FUN life could be & is!!

NOW, no matter WHAT life has to throw our way, I know I have a riding bud for life!!

PRAY for today...just for today.

Look at this new modern family, imagine them being your kids and grandkids. Imagine getting that call that your son & daughter-in-law (whom you LOVE DEEPLY BTW) were involved in a tragic massacre at the movie they went to last night. And then imagine hearing they had taken your little precious grandchild with them to that movie and then hearing the outcome the likes of which the nation & world became so REALISTICALLY aware of this past Friday morning...Imagine THAT being your reality.


Now freeze that thought for a moment and now imagine being the parents (mother & father in a sustaining HEALTHY marriage) of a child who was BRILLIANT according to EVERYONE who had ever encountered your child!! Then getting that WORST THAN HEARING DEATH of your child on the phone phone call!! THEN!! imagine being just the mother of this child and seeing your LITTLE BABY who, only 12 years ago was just going through crackling voice and right size shoe issues!! Seeing that child on the television news (along with everyone ELSE in the world-- JUDGING your baby). Seeing the shocking look of dismay, listlessness, disbelief, and STUNNING AWARENESS of HIS OWN devastation to SOCIETY!! Imagine being THAT mom.


I have, one thought that came to me this morning as I did was, I'm SO GRATEFUL for my own children and their "not so appealing" societal qualities. Those qualities that are not THE BEST of human nature and things, in themselves, they could surely work on improving. But those "things" are worked out in the time that my children CHOOSE to devote to them. I can only be GRATEFUL that so far the news I've received on my kids has been low level stuff and nothing that has never been NEWS WORTHY!


But for the families involved in this and the parents of the originator of all this MAYHEM! My heart feels the loss, it really does. It's almost like 911 or the bombing in Oklahoma City when we, as a country, we were so shocked that I KNEW from that moment on, life as we knew it was going to be forever DIFFERENT. Now what I'M FEELING is the loss of that simple time. 


The time when going to a late night show WAS AN EVENT to be excited about (and hopefully that doesn't stop). Going dressed up WAS the point! It showed our PASSION, ENTHUSIASM & excitement of what was to be something OUTSTANDING cinematically!! Only to have remnants of THE MOST TRAGIC events to ever happen in American history being added to the end of what WAS to be ...only just a night out at the movies.


Not that it means anything, and I'm sure all the other late night movie attendees of this particular movie, in other parts of the country, did the same thing. But I was going to attend this late night movie here in my hometown of Costa Mesa. The fact that I didn't is not the point but I did do what others who attended the movie did, I breathed a heavy sigh of relief that that wasn't OUR ending to that night's "EVENT".


This comment is my opinion & I hope this doesn't inflate anyone's beliefs on any of the above or what I'm about to say: but as I see it, what happened in Aurora, Co. is a clear picture of what is happening in this FALLEN WORLD we live in.


I am a tv viewer, I watch mind numbing programs, I watch documentries, I watch SPORTS but mostly I watch the news & shows that are news prompted. I HAVE to stay informed & trust me when I say that I mean that I get my news from other sources than the television! I WATCH for a couple of reasons; 1-very basic,to be informed. It was how I was raised, it's my generation's thing so to speak(that & reading the newspaper, which I choose not touch because of the ink..makes my hands feel disgusting!). But 2- to stay in tuned, as much as possible, with what's going on this WORLD around me & my kids & grandkids. I have to, THEY DON'T!! Watching the news or programs that have something pertinent to say to topical issues today miss my kids unless there is incidents that are relatable & I bring it to their attention. Then they delve into it if THEY feel it's revelent to assisting them in living their life EASIER! But as a mom...who would NOT want to ever get THAT phone call (& has a history of fear and trembling waiting for THE dreaded call about her own children, which to date has only been as serious as being stranded in Vegas), I HAVE to WATCH!!


But from the perspective of my spiritual beliefs I see how evil is, at this point in our time, WINNING in taking over this society. This past weekend one of the pastors at our church gave a BRILLIANTLY stunning sermon on HABAKUK. The sermon was about where was God. Where was He back then when evil ran rampant throughout the Isrealites (God's CHOSEN people) life in society? The very same as it was back then it is today!! No different, not one iota, but I don't ask the question, I already know the answer. 

As we mourn with those families of this tragic event, as you read this I hope you too have God in your heart and just be prepared to HOLD ON! Read Habakuk (even if you're not inclined to read the bible) chapters 1-3. Read how this person went about painfully asking the questions of God that we struggle with today and read how God responds. For me, it gives me footing to stand, on a place to believe that life is.. OK!! My kids are OK!! WE as a nation of believers are going to be....ok. Evil WILL NOT be the victor here!

What a MIRACLE looks like today....LOOK CAREFULLY or you're sure to MISS THEM!!!

Yesterday at a WAL-MART in Georgia a SEVEN YEAR OLD little girl was involved in an attempted child abduction. A 25 yr old parolee (only a week out mind you) out on manslaughter charges picked up the little girl in a toy isle while her mother, who was in another isle, was shopping. The man ATTEMPTED to take the little girl out of the store by covering her mouth but due to her training (now watch it her comes the MIRACLE!!..I'll tell you why in a minute..), knowing about "STRANGER DANGER", the little girl's mouth may've been covered but she knew enough to stay calm in order to kick and squiggle herself free from her potential person who was about to do her harm (....he's innocent until proven guilty in a court of law right..no telling what he had planned for her, he was out on manslaughter). And in doing so she would've made such a spectacle of herself and the man walking through the store that SOMEONE was sure to see them.

FORTUNATELY this is the 21st century and SEEING is rather common in large stores due to SECURITY cameras. No judgement intended, but this guy was BLATANT about his ill-deed and no good could've come from that little girl being taken out of that store by him yesterday. But let me take you off track (I'll bring you right back quicker than a hummingbird can lick somethin!) right here. NOTE  above the words (in this paragraph) in caps, note how they make a statement about our God!! Folks when I set out to write something about something it's because something is stirring in my heart that has to be said. Maybe, like in this case, it's something from my own past experience that struck a chord or maybe, like the words in caps indicated to ME and hopefully to you too, God is still trying to talk to us TODAY!! In a language that we understand through people like me and that little girl yesterday. Because when I look at the news report and see the video of the man attempting to take that little girl, I see in the midst of that 3-5 sec struggle a warrior angel pulling that little girl away from that abductor then making him run. That's what I see......told you I'd bring you back:)  MIRACLE!!

What stirred in me when I saw the video of the attempted abduction was a childhood memory of a similar incident happening with me and my baby brother when I was 13 and he was 7.

Our mother had passed away the year prior to that and we were living with our maternal grandmother at that time (our childhood was very scattered and unstable. My little brother and I never lived together under the same roof for more than 1 year together before or after our mother's passing). We were walking through a neighborhood park from a friends house on our way back home. It was a holiday of some sort because it would've normally been a school day but kids were home and parents were working. For some reason that was important that day.

As my brother and I had made our way into the park as there would've been no easy way to run and turn back out to the neighborhood we just left, I noticed a man in a car looking at us. At first he was sitting on a park bench but after we passed him he ran for his car. He made a call for us to come to him the first time. I turned around and looked at the man and kept walking, not even fast, I thought the man was crazy. It was then I first noticed "THE MIRACLE". It stirred inside me, it told me what parents tell their kids today, what I didn't have when I was a kid. It told me that this was a bad scene and we had to get out of that park or we were sure to die there, me and my little brother. That feeling boiled in me every step we took. .....
There was some intense moments in the park that day, the stranger pursued us around that park for the better part of an hour. My brother and I were like DISNEY KIDS in a HOME ALONE movie that day, but it was no (get ready for the intended pun..).. regular DAY IN THE PARK for me & little Scotty Norful that day..we were in someone's sights to die that day but the BREATH of God was in the wind & upon us that day..(wonder if my brother felt it??!!)

I won't bore you with all the details of how we got out of that situation because OBVIOUSLY we did, but I will tell you that when I saw that video of that abduction, I saw me and my little brother in those grips and that MIRACLE that got us out.

We don't see waters parting today, but short of full out plagues in an isolated area, WE DO SEE if we're looking!!
I bet you've witnessed a miracle too & maybe didn't think to classify it as such. What do you think??!

I am God's??!!!

I am God's ??!!

REALLY!! When did that happen? WHO made it so?

Why am I just now being told and why didn't I get THAT memo?!!

I am God's??!!

I wished someone had told me that a whole lot sooner,
then I wouldn't have been down for so long and NOW just getting in step with my FINE TUNER!


I am God's??!!
MAN! Isn't that good to know!
I'm not just some nobody that will NEVER, EVER not have 
a place to go!


I am God's!!
Praise His HOLY name -
for having such FORESIGHTNESS and 
knowledge of all  today's unHOLY games!!


I am God's!!

2011 Reflections

This year I got over my fear of really being afraid of being in love to.. it's a CHALLENGE to be in love with another human being-really! 2 challenges technically; 1 is working with the difficulties of my own stuff and woes of relationship...and where THAT all started! 2; working with another who is, for some reason, IMMENSELY attractive

 but so full of his own stuff, one with sound logic would wonder why one would undertake a "project" when a "project" is ALREADY in session? In other words; If I'm such a basket case of issues, why would I KNOWINGLY accept a partner as my mate who also has a ton (NOT the phrase I wanted to use here, but since I'm a church girl today, I say this one has washed over me & move on-DANGITT!!) ... of problems!! HERE'S WHAT I LEARNED...... IF I KEEP RUNNING AWAY FROM WHAT'S HARD FOR ME IN MY LIFE, I WILL NEVER GET TO EASY!!!~~ My whole entire life has been running from what's hard then going back to even harder because what I ran to got hard and I took the easy road and went back to hard because I KNEW what that HARD was going to be like (does that make sense?). And when I couldn't take anymore of IT I ran from it AGAIN and stayed out until IT got hard OUT THERE then went back... you see. I didn't stop running or in the case of the above worked on relationships properly or addressed ANY my OWN issues!! Until this relationship, seriously..... We're MASTERPIECES in procession!! 

This year, toward the end, our church had a series called SEX, DATING & MATING; as a result of it I learned some very profound, life altering changes! I learned All my views I've held of myself as a young, adult female, mother, addict/acholic, daughter, sister, cousin, niece & GRANDMOTHER were wrong!!! The ways I carried myself, thinking I knew what was going on were not quite right. Now...I'm not saying that I KNOW what "quite right" may be for you but I know what it was and is for me and I wasn't living it prior to the SEX series. Then and now slowly a radical change is still emerging. Living a "Holy Life" or as a "Woman of God" in today's times isn't easy. It doesn't look the same on every woman but it is sure worth the effort!! 

Even if I may not ALWAYS like the way it makes me feel!!

AS A MOTHER..... I learned I'm not EVER going to be ALL things to my sons and daughters that they want me to be. I won't say all the right words. I will say TOO MUCH sometime (oft more than not) but THEY ALL know by now that's only because I care...and I know what I'm talking about ....see there I go!! My children are not always going to love nor respect me me all the time and I've come to terms with that because here's what I know; we are all adults who live in a fallen world. We will all make mistakes and do what (bad) we do until we do (good) better. I FOR SURE am not one to hold my children's disdain for me at times against them. They came from me, that makes my LOVE more overpowering an emotion than their momentary right to be frustrated with their mom!! I'm NOT an easy mom to have!! But I'm the one God gave them!! I can understand how they feel the way they do,as I stated above, I had ISSUES; POOR KIDS-THEY  ROLLED THE HEAVENLY DICE ON 3 SEPARATE OCCASIONS & GOT ME AS A MOM!!!

So kids when you wanna get mad at your mom for things in the future....raise your fist and cuss at God. He gave you-me-:0!! 

But funny as I try to make that seem, my hardest issue that I struggle with this year was letting go my adult children on another level and also my GRANDDAUGHTER!! (I won't get into that, she's not officially "LET GO" just yet but .....see there I go....done on that subject)

There was a birth and a loss that occurred that was significant this year. In all the years of my life there of been this strange phenomena of birth following death happening around me. Whenever I've tried to explain this to others that are close to me they shun this talk saying that no such things could be true. Maybe because they're too close and afraid for me or them or have not experienced it to the same degree I have. I would like to go back in my history and give year and time when this has happened but this is going on quite long already and I have more to say, so I'll just stick with what happened this year ( and if you're interested catch me sometime, when you have a moment and I'll fill you in:)). 

In August I had a very beautiful, Blessedly healthy granddaughter born in our family I could not have been more happier as she was long awaited and long overdue for her mommy, daddy & 7 yr. old big brother!! But the following month on 9/11 my beloved chihuahua PHOENIX was taken from in front of our home and has not been seen or reported returned since. Overshadowing to some degree my granddaughter's birth was the loss of Phoenix because I was originally not known for being a "PET PERSON".  So for me to be in love with a dog was (for anyone that knew me) CRAZY to begin with!!  But the depths of which were touched when that incident occurred were UNREAL!! I did not realize I had such an attachment to that animal, until he was no longer there!! I mean I knew I liked the little guy and I always said, that he was NOT going to be going anywhere anytime soon (why would I have said that??!!) But I didn't register the gage of my emotions for that animal until I was just left with my newborn granddaughter without my dog.....it was painful. I had dreams of my granddaughter and Phoenix being bffs. I could see Phoenix being at her bedside. Just as new moms have dreams of their new babies I had those of Aria & Phoenix. But this paragraph has a happy ending, in this final stretch of the year, after just only WEEKS!!  of mourning over our missing doggie another EQUALLY as adorable doggie shows up at our doorstep NEEDING love and a home. So looks like Aria will have a friend afterall, my dreams are still in tact and God gets the Glory for making it all happen!! LIFE....DEATH.....LIFE...ETERNAL!!

NOTE; As I finished the last sentence of the above paragraph a thing that can be described in only MIRACULOUS terms as we know them to be, I had given up on EVER setting my eyes on my BLESSED little doggie PHOENIX H.R. BENNETT again, as I said, he was taken from in front of the mobile home of Dennis's on 9/11. But as I was putting an end to my thoughts on the subject and moving on with my life, God, who KNEW my heartache had a different ending here; I recieved a call from my fiance' who was at work, (just as I put the exclamation point on LIFE...ETERNAL!!) telling me to get my dog he was at the pound-the same one where we purchased him from!!

PHOENIX had been risen!! 

Now I don't know what a MIRACLE must've looked like back in days of old but I think I know one when I see one today and getting my dog back and recieving so many of the other wonderous BLESSINGS & LESSONS that I received this year is truly a MIRACLE. 

I really don't know what 2012 has in store for us other than a wedding and a whole lot of birthdays but I DO know that it's going to be AWESOME!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR FOLKS!!

The 3rd Step: Did I REALLY?!!

STEP 3

Made a DECISION to turn our will and our life over to the care of God as we understood Him.

Made a decision..did I really??? After many years of hearing and reading that it starting to hit me tonight (after hearing again TWICE more for the umteenth time!!), that MAYBE EVEN THAT DECISION WASN'T MY WILL!!!! Maybe that "DECISION" that I made back then WAS God's!! 

I've heard a ton of sharing over the past 14 years  on how others have come to this EARTHQUAKING decision making, mind changing conclusion, to allow God to walk out the rest of their lives with or for them or both. I myself have shared in meetings how I gave my life over when I had that spiritual epiphany in my bathroom way back when, with my husband present. But nothing has hit me more clearer tonight than how maybe it really wasn't ME back then who made the decision to turn my life over but GOD being present with me, His Holy Presence being WITH me in the depths of my depraved soul, spiritually, emotionally and even physically. He was there even then to say 'IT'S TIME' and He was who helped me reach that decision to turn my empty life around to the fullness that it is today!!

Another thing that tells me that this probably wasn't me even way back then who made "THE DECISION" but God, is that when I hear those among my peer group share. Those who are new or recents or revolvers or those who can't quite seem to ever keep it together for any length of time. These women are my EVER PRESENT reminder that the decision, whereas it may appear to LOOK LIKE mine on the outside, like I'm REALLY cool like that. Making the decision to just say NO! BUT let's just be real here.. I'm not THAT STUPID, God really is in charge!! Is and always has been! My decision to turn my life over to His care came at the right time. I was DONE with a capital D.O.N.E.!! Hearing how women still are struggling today and how others are just scrapping by coming in freshly recovering from the damage of the streets, I get soooooo grateful and humbled. I want to break into small fragments of wafers or something loving and ensconce myself into one of my hurting sisters to absorb their pain. I want to do it so much because I've been in that hurt sucky place before and I made it out by the skin of my teeth. It was horrible how I made it out, I cried to God alot. I gave Him MY will a lot. I didn't have to but I did. 

And see there's another thing... WILL. A whole nother thing than decision making. Will is the ACTION word here. Will requires me to do what I say I'm going to do or NOT DO what I say I'm NOT GOING to do.  To date, for the close to 14 years now I've said regularly that I would not smoke crack anymore nor would I allow alcohol to cross my lips again. And for this many years I've been able to do this ONLY by my willingness (action NOT to do) to keep it that way. And know this, somedays that wasn't easy!! Somedays it STILL isn't easy but sure is a lot better than what it used to be because now I've got more God in me and I know more about myself and that makes all the difference.

This is just my opinion and this is just me, but I don't think of myself all that super great anymore. I did up until a few minutes ago (not to worry though, THAT won't last long either, I got a BIG EGO!) (NOT!!), but now I don't!! I'm a puppet for my Father!! Not that that's a bad thing, I probably could've phrased that better. But what I'm trying to convey is that the Lord has loved me so long, even when I wasn't thinking He was and we were just getting acquainted. He was really there the whole time and even before I recognized He was there.... He'd already been there... watching.... waiting...... and He was the one who couldn't take anymore and He made MY decision!!! 

I just followed along with the Master's Plan..........................................

I guess I'm going to keep on following...........................................

I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing......John 15:5

I rest my case!!